noshowjones

guess who's bizzack

2006-07-23T22:26:00.000-04:00

here i am
rock me like a hurricane baby

salis, newly married and slightly pressed, is back on the block mofos.
quick post-
married april 27th
fourth of july was a blast(busted van windows, and had gun confiscated- also threw smokebombs at unsuspecting masses while watching fireworks)
losing friends and family like crazy to weird illnesses and accidents
bit twice by brown-recluses BAD NEWS yo
still have three broken down cars in my back yard and still taking care of los ninos loco
mom still crazy and dating dudes my age

life is good and happiness is definitely attainable no matter how dark clouds appear
pray for the friends and fam of ol' salisto- we could use it and we will definitely reciprocate

at least i'm excited

2006-02-20T16:59:00.000-05:00

what can i say

i'm a trail by fire type of dude.

two bebes already, one more on the way.
1/3 of the way towards my own little baseball team.

someone recommended a vasectomy- thou dost jest too heartily.

God bless the lil ones- and the hot girls who have 'em

bonanza

2006-01-20T10:14:00.000-05:00

drinking heineken 22's at ten a.m.
smoked number 10 at 12 p.m.
finished first bottle of jack at 3 p.m.
met my future ex at 4 p.m.
invaded the blue-smith estate at 6 p.m.
licked a chubby bartender's nipple at 8 p.m.
passed out on my bathroom floor at 10 p.m.

my birthday's are always so mundane.

it's hard to be right all the time

2006-01-20T10:02:00.000-05:00

i told you they big brother was watching- watching your every little step.
every breath you take, every move you make, that sort of malarky.
the gubament has decided, not only do they want to hear every conversation without any sort of probable cause,
but,
they would also like to know what america is googling.

i figured i'd save them a trip.
have fun guys,
this is what our constitution is all about.

my google's
secretary sex
amateur milf first lesbian experience
redwoods
energy transference
mail order brides (drunknight)
shmegma (alsoadrunknight-funpicsforthefamily)
honorroll sluts
tax form ez-90
NOSHOWJONES

please don't assign me to a behavior modification facility, somewhere off the map. i promise i'll be good.

bored in the a.m.

2006-01-10T11:06:00.000-05:00

was that a monday?

2006-01-10T10:56:00.000-05:00

got tickets for ohio states girl's basketball game. club seats baby!
showed up at half-time ripped con me familia.
spent forty bucks on hot dogs and beer, then couldn't find my vehicle amongst the massive herd leaving the arena.
thank goodness for car alarms.

see if you can find these five items, hidden in the cab of my van.
1) zig-zags, orange
2)mini-cigars, strawberry
3)ice-cold wake up beer
4)left over taco-bell, also for the morning time
5)removed captains chair, no clue why

fun for the whole fam

who dey, who dey, who cares

2006-01-10T10:52:00.000-05:00

my quaterback has been crippled.
my team has been vanquished.
the playoffs are over for us.

i can't feel my toes.
jelly doesn't possess that same addictive sweetness.

except for my blackberry preserves.
nothing can take that from me.

amore

2006-01-05T10:03:00.000-05:00

puppies for sale.
str8 out the hood,
and into your heart.

ghetto landscaping and beat up ford van sold separately.

hillbilly holidays

2006-01-05T09:50:00.000-05:00

on antibiotics for me dedito. coudn't drink on new years- first time since i was like, ten and shit. found other ways to entertain myself, via pistols and smokey treats....

and maybe a shot of moonshine.

best wishes for 2006.

news from the fam

2006-01-05T09:39:00.000-05:00

it's about 10 a.m., cold and rainy. miserable ohio weather- only good for creating messy roads and head colds.

walking towards class, i received an alarming phone call. apparently, my cousin is behind on child support by about 400 hundo. he was escorted into the open doors of a cruiser this morning, while his other two boys watched.

they're four and six

justice system is kind of whack.

sad but true

2005-12-14T21:58:00.000-05:00

foxy is dumb

holiday wish list

2005-12-14T10:47:00.000-05:00

1digital camera
1bottle of after shock
1bottle of bourbon
1blonde from the north
1brunnette from the south
1new mattress(memory foam)
some of that good

simple man with simple needs

oh, christmas tree

2005-12-14T10:38:00.000-05:00

fattening up for the winter

2005-12-14T10:24:00.000-05:00

simple times are upon me.
no collegiate activities planned for at least two weeks, and i'm drifting into a state of holiday bliss doubtfully to be lifted.

finally time to recuperate.

i have waited so long for a day filled with beer, laughter, and gorging myself, that at some moments in the day i find myself fantasizing.
so much t.v., that i get my fill for the rest of the year.

yep, the good ol' days.

and, i wish the same on whoever reads this;
happy holidays to all y'all cool kittens and cats.
peace, love, and all that jazz,

and get me something nice.

terms of endearment

2005-12-13T13:02:00.000-05:00

her- what is it? you sounded flustered on the phone.
him- no i didn't. i told you we should be friends, and you hung up. that
was twenty minutes ago.
her-you told me that you liked me.
him- i do. i think you're totally cool, and i like hanging out.
her- you're a f*ing prick. why did you toy with me.
him- we just met a week ago. we haven't even slept toghether. in fact, the
last time we hung out, you yelled drunken obscenities at me.
her- no i didn't!
him- you said you hated me, repeatedly.

her- i think i love you.
him- we really should stay friends. i'm not in a loving place right now.
her- whatever! you're a f*ing prick!
him- i apologize. we really can hang out.
her- can we be fuck buddies then?

him- huh?

GAME DAY - NASTY 'NATI

2005-12-11T12:24:00.000-05:00

who dey

on the road again

2005-12-11T11:33:00.000-05:00

the morning started as most sunday's did. little smoke off the bat, dvd from the collection. the only thing missing was breakfast from mc donald's, and a paper. (i still enjoy the funnies.)

oh yeah- my gas gauge is broke and i've been driving off of calculations from my trip counter.

i put the lord-of-the-rings on pause, and went out into the snow in search of sustenance.
two sausage egg and cheese biscuits later, my trusty steed starts to jump, then sputter. NO! steering locks up, and i slide into a open spot by the curb.

bad calculations!

now i walked against the bitter wind that bit my face.
three blocks to the next gas-station.

the first two had been unfruitful, due to the fact that neither sold gas cans, or would let me put gas into a two liter bottle. the fat kid behind glass explained to me it was illegal, and he could lose his lucrative career if he allowed me to do so.

i explained to him that it was really f*ing cold, and if he was a human being he would help me.

he went back to reading in his heated glass house, and i headed back out into the cold.
at first i contemplated revenge- enego montoya style- you killed my father, prepare to die! but, as i tumbled ideas around in my melon, serenity wrapped her big ol' arms around me.

wwjd?

yeah, i said it. what was the righteous thing to do? is this what he meant by love thy neighbor- despite their actions towards you? i know it sounds cheezy, but i'm working on my karma.
suddenly i grew warmer, and looked towards my next destination.

the two aaa, auto emergency trucks, said they couldn't help me if i wasn't a member. i said thanks, and walked inside.
the clerk at the counter informed me it was necessary to purchase a gas can, as opposed to using the one sitting by her feet. i said thanks, filled the can, and journeyed back across freezing plains, trudging towards my breakfast and warmth.

just like lord of the rings and shit.

a few of my favorite things

2005-12-08T21:00:00.000-05:00

it's f*ing 18 below in my great state. eight inches of snow where i'm sitting, and the roads are slick as a politician- perfect weather for playoffs and powerslides.
4wd+beer+ice=big fun
bengals+superbowl=major ejaculation

Christmas is the season for giving

2005-12-08T20:50:00.000-05:00

tuesday's gone

2005-12-06T12:37:00.000-05:00

overstretched by
every stretch of the imagination.

green light means go,
but someone stalls at the light.

closure has wrapped around me,
smothering but comfortable,
and atop my steed,
i await the final battle.

no longer scared, only scarred.
nervousness has relenquinshed itself unto the urge to complete my quest-
i fear nothing,
and go towards every enemy smiling,
willing to win at any cost to myself.

we will fight until the fight is over-
until the job is done.
loss of soldiers or friends matters not.

victory will be achieved,
in life or in death.

transcend.

little gelflings, everywhere

2005-11-27T19:15:00.000-05:00

smoke scented clothes and unpolished etiquette.

as of late,
i walk into any given place, any given situation,
reeking of essence.
someone in the lawyers office asked me if i had gone to a concert the night before?

damn straight baby- i had two sopranos hitting the high note all night long. satisfying and melodic.

yes, i know i need to do my shirt laundry.
oh, and stop trying to steal my essence.

when in rome

2005-11-27T18:47:00.000-05:00

we sat motionless,
as malibus most wanted flailed his arms about and threatened the three of us riding in the suv.

only moments before, it had been thanksgiving, and we three fellas were riding around our usual stomping grounds, listening to music and suffering from chest congestion.
we drove by a happy couple walking into a thanksgiving dinner, and the driver slowed down from twenty miles an hour, to three mph's.
john wayne stared us down with authority.
the driver slowed down, and asked the little guy if he was ok.

homeboy flipped,
in front of his girl,
and offered to whoop whoever wanted to get out of the car.
i reached for the door handle, and a little voice reminded me that it was thanksgiving.
we all chuckled a bit, and pulled off on our merry way.

so much anger on the holiday's.

just some good ol' boys, never meanin no harm

2005-11-21T10:31:00.000-05:00

welcome back folks.

although we haven't heard the adventures of salis, a.k.a.desalio, a.k.a. joshua petersmith, in quite a long time, i assure you, they continue. and now,
without further procrastination,
a glimpse.

we join our lovable hero on a cold, rainy, november night.
boredom has beset him, and surgery looms over his head as either impending doom, or much needed salvation. hopefully the latter- he really needs the latter. his mood has changed like the weather; constantly and drastically. anymore setbacks or boughts with angst might seriously cause bodily harm to someone. the thought of being out of work for three more months, not to mention weeks and weeks of therapy trying to regain the hand function he'd only now achieved.

and,
during the last appeal process, (there have been several), the good people at workman's-comp decided in the favor of the injured worker, opposed the the lying-son-of a gun who doesn't want to come out of pocket, and allowed salis to have his much needed hand surgery.
but wait, it get's better.
the bwc awarded wages, no, ability.
ability to pay past bills, ability to work, ability to regain normalcy.
just a regular guy minus some digits.

hazah!
hold up dog- old boy wants to appeal again, procrastinating payment of dinero.
also,
he decided to walk by and mutter f- you to salis while the lawyers discussed whatever it is lawyers discuss,
prompting salis to follow him out of the state building, and challenge him to a duel- one handed style.

dickhead declined the offer.
people suck- so does bureaucracy.

anything that don't kill ya only makes you stronger- believe that.

got yo ass

2005-10-17T10:40:00.000-04:00

superbowl bound

2005-10-17T10:31:00.000-04:00

to those who don't know- the cincinnati bengals f'ing rock.
all year i've listened to people credit their wins on the play of the other teams, luck, or the theory that the nfl is rigged to favor a small market team from ohio.
all i can say is......

WHO DEY, WHO DEY, WHO DEY THINK IS GONNA BEAT THOSE BENGAL.
WHERE WE PLAYING, IN THE JUNGLE, BABY.
NOBODY!

we lead the league in take-aways. carson palmer is setting records. our recievers are the best in the league.
with that being said, go nasty nati!
make your long-lost son proud.

to whom it may concern

2005-10-12T10:20:00.000-04:00

i would like to take this opportunity,
to thank a special,
unnamed woman,
who has brightened my days for the past few months.

for starters, this girl is drop-dead hot.
beyond that, though, she is witty, smart, sweet, and from what i've seen and heard, one hell of a momma.
total package y'all!

so everyone raise their glasses in celebration of all the hot mammas out there.
working women with very little free time on their hands.
especially YOU, my sweet little lass.
thank you for being my friend.

counting crows

2005-10-11T12:41:00.000-04:00

hot stink permeates the inside of your nose.
burnt impression.

herd of hounds attack the door as it creaks open.
the owner sits in a dimly lit room,
smoky, smelly.

"lay down!"
hell hounds obey.

new guest walk about as if in a bed and breakfast,
chatting, telling lies.
different faces all the time.

walking ghosts scattered amongst used lawn mowers and televisions.
introductions are made, but never remembered.

hell.

looking for signs of life,
but they all dead in this mofo.

round here,
tires are cheap,
drugs are bad,
and hope and faith are just a show these people watch while they die.

round here,
halloween is everyday.

the hunter

2005-10-10T15:39:00.000-04:00

came across a smiling lion in the middle of a lush field.
wide, she opened her jaws, revealing a golden key
hesitantly, i placed trembling digits softly upon the beast's tongue.
eyes locked,
mouths dropped,
and quickly,
i remembered the nature of a lion.

i love it when you call me big poppa

2005-10-05T00:33:00.000-04:00

they're coming to take me away, haha.

2005-10-01T12:17:00.000-04:00

friends can come visit- i'll be the guy bouncing off the padded walls.

piss poor saturday

2005-10-01T11:41:00.000-04:00

yo trabajo mucho por nada!

wake up to pit-bull piss on my floor/clothes hamper.

need to leave, now, before i beat the one entity that has always had my back.
damn dog.

phone call this morning.

apparently just because two people aren't together, it doesn't mean they can't still
hang out.

fuck off lady.
do me a favor- don't call and act concerned.
don't tell me you worry about me still, and know this is really hard.
keep it to yourself.

just keep bouncing around my people, HOLDING MY PEOPLE, while you talk about how much you still care about me.
liar- fucking liar.

i hope your tongue swells up and you choke on the putrid tales spewing from that lovely hole in your face.

salis is good, girl, and will remain that way for a long time

send you a post card, kay.

confessional- get off my chest!

2005-09-30T14:36:00.000-04:00

five years ago,
i moved into a house, with my brother, and three other punk rock mofos.
their lead singer/roommate, was leaving their band due to the fact he had fell in love. he moved out hastily, and without paying rent.
nobody in this house liked the idea of cleaning, especially the old roommate.
so, i was forced to move whatever was left behind.

in the process of moving the slob's dresser outside for fumigation, a untitled video popped up from behind it.

needless to say, me and untitled, hidden videos, have always been homies. so-

house meeting was called. everyone was asked whether or not we were ethically bound to return the tape.
through much deliberation, though, we realized, no, we weren't.

long story short- dude is a short fat brit covered in hair.
his girl is a super hot bible-thumper, who, apparently, likes to call men whores while she rams them from the hind-quarters.

we laughed, and turned the tape off, planning on destroying it. (this is where the confession comes in).

the tape never made it to incineration.

we sold it to your rivals.

you might see yourself on the internet sometime- making the o-face while the old lady bangs your bottom.

my apologies dude- we can't all be perfect.

we believe you tom

2005-09-30T14:31:00.000-04:00

do you really want to hurt me

2005-09-29T15:10:00.000-04:00

the bar i'm banned from, is a little whole in the wall dive surrounded by super-ghetto.
for some reason, i seem drawn to this dank den of iniquity.
so, every now and then i bribe the door man and play nice for the bartenders in order to spend twenty minutes of drinking in my favorite watering hole.

the owner is a big fat lady who hates my guts.

ty used to get drinks for free untill she found out he knew me.

i'm going to get her a muffin basket, i think.

just one of those days

2005-09-29T15:09:00.000-04:00

stuff i know/ 4 shizzle

2005-09-28T15:06:00.000-04:00

kharma is real.
murphy's law is always in full effect.
i'll never make it as a ganster rapper.
if a super hot girl sits next to me in two consecutive classes, she likes females as much as i do.
fast food will hurt me estomago.
beer will run out before i do.
waiting is the hardest part.(gotthatonefromtompetty)

happy hump day, you humps.(j.kiddin-loveallya'll).

walking after midnight

2005-09-28T11:17:00.000-04:00

preface: halloween is a time where spirits and lost souls have a short reign of the earth. mostly, spirits can't hurt you.
but, sometimes, people delve too far into unknown realms, and what they bring back with them is far from harmless.
enjoy the tale.

the new moon silhouettes two teenage boys walking along the edge of a graveyard. the boys trip each other playfully. the taller boy smacks his younger brother in the back of the head, than trips him while he tries to fight back.
"you're a dick, bobby." the younger boy scowls at his brother, then dusts himself off.

"don't get mad, benny, get even." bobby was always trying to instill toughness in his younger brother. part of his job as an older brother. that's why they were coming to the graveyard. time for benny to find his inner-machismo.

"what are we doing here?" benny looked around nervously as they entered the graveyard, waiting for big bro's response.

"conjuring, benny." the older boy unzipped his backpack, and pulled out a ouiji board, a candle, and a small egg. "did you bring the glass, benny?"

the scared child pulled a thin drinking glass out of his small bookbag. his mom had bought him a powerrangers bookbag even though he was already fifteen, so benny had ripped all tell tales signs off of it, and in the process, left huge gaping holes where the p.r. patches had been.
"here."

bobby layed out the board on the oldest grave he could. mostly to be dramatic. he figured the more intricate details he involved, the more scared his little brother would get. "put your hands on the signal benny." the two boys layed their hands onto the plastic piece provided by milton-bradley to speak to the dead. "spirits, can you hear us?" the wand slowly moved towards yes, with help from bobby.
"see that ben. they're here. do you have a name, spirit?" again, bobby moved the pointer towards yes. "please tell us your name, spirit." the pointer started moving before bobby had put any pressure on it, and spelled out ben. "benny, quit moving it." the little boy was ghost white.
"i didn't bobby."
bobby looked at his brother, not really believing him.
"what is your last name, then, ben?" again, the pointer started moving without the older boys help. S-T-O-N-E. "quit moving it benny, or i'm leaving you here." the younger boy look almost in tears.
"i'm not, i swear." benny let go of the pointer, and suddenly bobby felt his hand shift from letter to letter, all by itself. H-E-A-D. stonehead. ben stonehead?
the battery lantern they were using tipped over to reveal the name on the grave the were at. benjamen tyler was on the headstone. headstone.
"can we please go, bobby?" the young boy was now crying. bobby thought hard. this was a little wierd.
"no benny. you have to face your fears. give me the glass." bobby had heard of a trick from one of his friends. contact a spirit, then crack an egg into a glass. while lighting the glass from the underside with a candle, ask the spirit to come out from the yolk and into this realm.
bobby took the lighter he had stolen from his father, and lit the bottom of the glass. "look into it benny, while i light it, and you should be able to see this guy." benny looked frantic.

"i don't think i want to, bobby." the boy was visiably shaken. "i don't want to."
"just do it benny, and we can leave. you gotta face your fears." the small boy put his eye over the top of the glass. all he could see was illuminated yolk.
then a leg popped out. then another. an arm, another, and finally a head. the head looked from the candle light to benny, then started moving towards the boy through the glass, growing bigger with every step. benny tried to move his head, but his older brother had his hand stuck on the top of his head, preventing escape.
"no bobby!" the boy shrieked, and candle blew out along with the lantern. damn batteries the older boy thought. bobby relit the candle to see his brother sitting indian-style on top of the grave. benny was no longer crying, nor did he look scared. he looked, almost, happy.
"please don't be mad benny. i'm sorry." the older brother took his sibling's hand.
benny's grip drew tight around bobby's hand. "i don't get mad bobby, i get even, remember.
bobby looked at his brother, a little alarmed by his response.
"and the name, is benjamen."

don't be scared

2005-09-28T11:06:00.000-04:00

gather round kiddies

crazy grandpa has got a really scary story

fat camp

2005-09-26T12:03:00.000-04:00

excuses for not running:

10)rain rain rain
9)too early
8)too late
7)legs sore from last weeks big run
6)need new shoes
5)have to check to two comments on my blog
4)late night run to white castle
3)alarm didn't go off
2)so depressed

and the number one reason for me not running-

DRINKING WITH BLUESMITH

damn peer pressure

if it weren't for bad luck

2005-09-26T11:55:00.000-04:00

rain beats the back of my neck as i walk to get a gas can.
ran out of gas- again. (gasguagealljackedup).
ten minutes late to eight thirty class, and cordially informed that i cannot take the quiz due to the fact i was tardy. explained that i ran out of gas,
and then not-so cordially informed that excuses won't be tolerated. (siryessir).
financial aid never processed my loans, so out of pocket shit getting rediculous. (nextweeksir).
i forgot my lunch that i packed last night for this extremely long day, and am craving a cigarette even though i quit.

mondays suck.

weekend warriors

2005-09-23T14:41:00.000-04:00

it's friday. you ain't got no job,
you ain't got shit to do.

another day, another dollar.
can i please be independently wealthy- i don't ask for much.
looks like a cheap beer weekend, but that's ok.
me and slummin are pals by now.
thinking about monkhood. or, is it monkdom?
anywho, i don't think the silence will be a problem,
only abstaining from the good stuff in life.
monks get really cool robes, though.

happy weekend everyone.
i'm just a junkie with a monkey.

it's the weekend(bring on the dancing girls)

2005-09-23T14:39:00.000-04:00

represent your hood

2005-09-22T16:49:00.000-04:00

i told this guy he couldn't join my gang. (i don't have a gang, on the real.)
guy persisted.
"i'll do whatever, man. just let me role with ya'll."
"you know you have to be initiated, right?"
"i'll do anything, man. want me to blast a fool? how about rob that quicky-mart? whatever you say dog, i'm down."
wheels turning, brain working.
"dance like kevin bacon in footloose.
no prom dancing either. i'm talking rope swinging, door punching, angry kevin-mill dancing."

dude thinks for a minute, than starts flailing arms and legs ridiculously.
i walk away lmfao.

dance newbie, dance.

where have all the cowgirls gone?

2005-09-22T16:44:00.000-04:00

this is it folks- the last post for this weary blogger.
we've had our great moments,
and laughed in the face of adversity.

good show all.

so, it's with heavy heart,
that i bid all fellow bloggers goood-day.

untill tommorow bi-s.

haha.

happy hnt- for real this time

2005-09-22T16:42:00.000-04:00

be nice to me- or die!

2005-09-22T16:32:00.000-04:00

thursday, thursday. can't trust that day.
so far i've..
been stole from,
ran out of booze,
stubbed my toe,
and
reached my spending limit for the week.(andit'sonlyf'ingthursday).
i'm going to run and hide now.

hiders

2005-09-22T16:15:00.000-04:00

i'm a helpy helper-ton.
i let this dumbass who i've known for years sober up at my crib.
did she thank me? if you count stealing as gratitude, than yes.
so, just for shits and giggles,
i stopped by and asked if the girl who steals is working. (she stole something very special to me, seriously.)
her coworker/cohort says,
"um, i'm not supposed to tell her buisiness."
fair enough. "my good man, can you just ask her to come from out of the stock room. please."
"yo cuz. i told you, i can't get in her buisiness.
what, you wanna fight or something?"
let me think... "yes. as a matter of fact, i'll wait outside untill you can find someone to watch the register."

long pause- "yo, so, what's your name? so i can tell her you were here."

"ask your momma."

time for some action

2005-09-21T17:03:00.000-04:00

time to get back to work, i suppose.
back the rat race, nose to the grindstone, all that jazz.
classes starting again, bills begging to be paid.
breaks never seem to last as long as we'd like, do they?
started running and working out again, (time to lose this summer's beer gut).
feel like i should be on the biggest loser.
in the sumo culture, i'd be macking.
if only i could find me a chubby chaser.
i'd be set.

the living dead

2005-09-19T16:59:00.000-04:00

i drank with zombies, and the malcontents.
i stumbled my words, and spent every cent.
i fell out in a shower and howled at the night,
and only today, have i regained my sight.

thx to house of bluesmith and everyone else who made binge drinking possible.

i'm no stranger to the rain

2005-09-15T16:15:00.000-04:00

far cry from the rest of the world,
i sat weeping aloud.
not so much from sadness, or anger,
just a innate urge to explode.
pressure release valve, or something.
i hugged myself,
and whispered reassurances i'd heard in years past,
speaking kind words amongsts sobs.
then,
my tears dried suddenly.
as if a brief summer shower,
wetting the ground,
not penetrating the earth.

then i had a beer.

name of the game

2005-09-14T18:21:00.000-04:00

winters passed, and i never felt so cold.
years they flew, and i never felt so old.
longer days, and shorter longer nights,
i might go crazy, but i gotta keep in-sight.
maybe, baby
we can run away to vegas.
i heard the girls are hot,
and the streets are full of playas.
that's all i need,
you and weed,
and we can make it.
i wouldn't fake it,
the feelings i present.
just don't wonder,
where my time is spent-
we all gotta hustle,
and so far my road is long,
nothing big-
just singing diesel's song.

the groups i dig

2005-09-14T18:19:00.000-04:00

killers concert coming up- rock!

requests, requests

2005-09-14T18:15:00.000-04:00

so, i've just been asked by a friend to behave tonight,(BAD D). apparently, i leer at girls who show interest in me.
she's married. aren't all the good ones.
married or in canada

give me something to break

2005-09-12T11:03:00.000-04:00

how do i lurve thee

2005-09-12T10:53:00.000-04:00

what if i showed up at your house,
screaming at the top of my lungs how i long to be with you, serenading you with a band backing me up.
shall i bring you flowers, picked from the narrowest ledge, of the highest point, from the tallest mountain.
recite ballads, thick with inclinations and thick with innuendos.

if i wrote i love you in lighter fluid across my chest,
and let you strike the match,
would you be with me then.

final scene

2005-09-12T10:20:00.000-04:00

they'd pulled it off. she'd just got the phone call from d, and was now packing her ralph lauren luggage set she had gotten for christmas. she wished she'd never set eyes on that damn luggage. it always reminded her of the road; stupid jobs d would take out of town, the life.
the door swung open behind her.
"who loves ya momma?" same catchphrase every time. monotony drove tiffy crazy, but she smiled and answered, "you do, poppy."
"we did good baby, real good. with this score, we can start our own business. no more answering to anyone, no more outrageous cuts. from now on, whatever we attain, we keep. take a week off, hit this next little sight i got in mind..."
tiffany was boiling inside. "you asshole. you said, "last time baby". you promised me. now you're talking about new jobs, week off. we're supposed to have kids, a house. we can do that." tiff felt a tear roll down her cheek. she never cried, but was on the verge of bawling now.
"what do we do when the money runs out- get jobs? you going back to dancing singles out of sweaty nasty palms? go head bitch, but not me. i'm taking my money, and going to my next hit, and no dumb little slut from alabama is going to stop me."
tiffany sat on the bed. d had never talked to her like that. he promised not to. he'd promised her alot of things, and at this point they all resembled lies.
"bitch, get your coat, and grab your bags. i'm not the damn bellhop."

tiffany got a nasty taste in her mouth. like either before or after you vomit. d was brushing his teeth, and tiffany slid off the bed and headed towards him. she quietly picked up the steak knife she had used for the fillet. d looked into the mirror. the foamy white toothpaste on his mouth turned pink, then red. the knife had gone through his windpipe, and all he could do was gurgle.
tiffany grabbed two plastic clothing bags and dumped her belongings from the set of raulph lauren bags. she hated those bags, and she didn't figure on traveling much anymore.
tiffany grabbed the money, and a bite of steak on the way out. a little cold, but still good.

go bucks

2005-09-10T11:17:00.000-04:00

victory cry

2005-09-09T16:26:00.000-04:00

we took their best shots,
and then countered with a flurry.

the day is glorious,
and the night will be blurry,

but the war is soon over,
so me and my sword,
both lay down to rest,
and spread the good word.

full frontal friday

2005-09-09T16:24:00.000-04:00

end of the line

2005-09-07T11:08:00.000-04:00

last two days of school for the quarter- hoohah.
madness begins in 48 hours, so anyone in a fifty mile radius needs to clear out.
we goina blow this sucka up[notaterroristthreathhomelandsecurity,sopleasedon'tshootme]
forty eight hours untill a guy like me moves into pure mack mode, at least for three weeks.
holla at your boy, and watch out for the cool pics coming soon.

scene two

2005-09-07T10:52:00.000-04:00

tonight was the first night she had been alone for two weeks.
the quiet was almost maddening. refreshing, but maddening. she hated these jobs. always sitting, waiting. d always ignoring her, pontificating as he called it.
this had better be the last time, otherwise she just wouldn't be part of it anymore. not that she had much of a role now.

she flipped through the stations on the small television that was permanantly mounted onto the hotel desk.
damn these jobs. always watching tv and waiting. she should have married a doctor, or a stock guy with a porsche. this had better be the last time.
tiffany picked up the phone and ordered a steak.
"rare please." she needed the taste of blood this morning.

i have no legs

2005-09-06T12:10:00.000-04:00

three days of camping=four hours of sleep.
warm beer is totally acceptable at four a.m.
fell out at eight p.m. last night, and woke up at noon, still fuzzy.
hellova weekend.
best labor day quotes:

strangers have the best candy
you ask me for molly again and i shove this poker in your eye.
i have no legs.
my shoes feel, i don't know, invisible- you know?
could you please tell mork from ork to hit the road.
i love you salis.

people say the craziest things on labor day.

wish you were here.

three days in the big city

2005-09-03T10:35:00.000-04:00

for starters, i'm just a country boy.
love the simple things in life, and tend to enjoy myself in whatever i do.
seems to me, the more simple, the less headaches.

untill, i moved my ass into the heart of the city.(aintnoloveintheheartofthecity.)
since that day,
life is a savory blend of drama, self preservation, and a grinding ambition for greatness.
and, with that,
i now see a different person in the mirror.
at first, i thought i had only grown old and grouchy. mean to the outside world that seemed to be moving too fast for my beatnik speed. cold and angry at anything strange to me.
then i realized it wasn't that at all. i wasn't colder, i was wiser.
so many pages had turned, that i now could predict the ending ahead of time. know the outcome.
a few bumps and bruises paying off, it seems.
so with wisdom in my mind, and hope in my heart,
i continue on,
walking the hard pavement, enjoying myself to the fullest.

scene 1

2005-09-02T15:39:00.000-04:00

twisted once again,
little wobble in the step.
heard more than an ear-full,
and so tired.
"what?"

"wake up jupi." my eyes flickered. lights moved at a very fast pace towards me.
suddenly realized i was driving.
"thanks brah. little tired lately." i was lying. it wasn't sleep, it was stress. the stress prevented the sleep.
"you need to wake the f*ck up. come on, we're doing something here."
that was just part of the stress, the job.
the other half of his problems lied in the mouth of a crazy irish girl named tiffany. he loved her a bunch, but lately she was killing him.
all the damn drama.
"you paying attention. grab the tools."
the two men walked to the front of the place they had watched intently for two weeks now. tonight was the night, no doubt.
air felt good, and so did the energy.

"comon' d. let's do this."

blue bayou

2005-08-31T10:38:00.000-04:00

holy moley, it's hump day.
terrential downpour,
thank you very much katrina.
thinking about heading down to the bayou to do some demolition work.
i hear the poisonous snakes are pretty rough around those parts,
but,
that's what mechades and forty-fives were made for.

snakekiller,
out this piece.

deditos

2005-08-30T10:29:00.000-04:00

say something

2005-08-30T09:31:00.000-04:00

shout out

2005-08-30T09:19:00.000-04:00

mitzee- lurve ya

word to the wise

2005-08-30T09:06:00.000-04:00

im being hacked
my privacy has been invaded.
imperial troops have entered the base,
but......

im not worried about some lame who thinks they have a glimpse into my life through just one of the many accounts i have. (althoughmyfavoriteaccount).

im also not concerned about what they think they know-

im only concerned about their safety.
that's right,
your safety, my little im buddy.

see, i'm the type of guy who doesn't let things rest, you know, dig and dig untill the truth is uncovered.
so, while you think you're slick, or whatever, i'll bide my time.
remain calm, and cool, just like the pimp i am, (imsureyouknowthatbymye-mails).

know this though.
you're a limy little IT geek, and i'm a pitbull waiting to bite.

like i said, your safety.

close to home

2005-08-25T11:47:00.000-04:00

jumped off rocks instead of going to class. bad me.

twenty-five feet in the air, calm water below.
even higher cliffs nearby. huge air time and too much fun.

new spot for hanging out and debauchery.

nature rules.

sunday blues

2005-08-22T10:52:00.000-04:00

contemplated going to church,
need to feel spiritual again

instead,
i watched black exploitation movies on local cable,
and cleaned house,
x-men style.
clash, clash, (claws extending).

ever heard of the fish that saved pittsburgh?
how about puddintang?

clean floors and cultural diversity...
spiritual o no?

ending to a three part series(fin)

2005-08-20T14:06:00.000-04:00

morris's head throbbed immediately. he had to focus. right now he was laying on top of two dead men, and about to be number three. focus man.
"i'm tired of your goody goody shit. " eugene cocked his gun, emphasizing the situation.
"give money to that old hag of boz's. that's not acceptaple. she'll just have to make due."
the fat man started circling the hole, gun lowered towards the last obstacle standing in between him and retirement. no more bosses, no more shitty cuts, one bullet and nobody else even had a clue.
"you've never been selfish, eugene." morris had to save his ass, quick. "you've always been cool with boz, so, i just thought...
"you thought wrong." the big man smiled at the thought of his new sailboat, being on the lake, and tons of food. one more cut.
"don't do this bud. we don't have to give his share away. i'll understand if you're not cool with that. whatever you want." morris was inching away from the pistol in front of him, and suddenly felt another jab into his back. lucky.
"think about what you're doing, man. we're friends." he was now within reaching distance of the gun on luck's chest holster. an old thirty-eight his grandfather had given him.
"i am, now turn over."
slowly, morris turned over, pulling the gun from the dead man's holster. face to face with lucky. that shovel fucked him up, bad.

"can i ask you one more thing, face to face, you fat fuck?"
"you got balls morris, i always said that. what is it?"

part two

2005-08-20T09:27:00.000-04:00

"i told him not to call me fat, you heard me morris. plaese don't be pissed, i didn't mean to kill em." morris looked down into the rather large hole that this rather large man was standing in. next to the massive figure layed his best friend, and his safe-man. such a waste of talent, morris thought to himself. how did this job get so out of control? "boss."
"yeah eugene?"
"you're not going to kill me, are you?" morris looked at this man, so huge and sweaty, and now scared that his boss would find it easier to leave him in this hole.
"climb on out, you fucking lummox." morris grabbed the big man's sweaty hand, and pulled hard.
"it's just us, huh morris." eugene wiped his brow with his oversized t-shirt. "more money for us."

"were giving boz's share to his wife." morris spoke plainly and clearly, so there could be no interpretation. not an order, so much, as a fact.
"a third goes to boz's family."

"boz is dead morris, and so is lucky. what about lucky."
"you killed lucky, fats, so if he needs money for anything, it comes out of your pocket. and he doesn't have a family, boz does." morris was determined to do at least one thing right this job, even it it was late in the game.
"i don't care about his family, and we weren't all buddy buddy like you guys were. were splitting the money in half, morris."
"what happen to boss, you miserable prick? and yes, were giving boz's share to his wife. he was killed on the job, so he still get's paid. final fucking say, no disputes, let's go."

the large man looked at the ground, and then back at morris. morris was only five foot something, and at least two hundred pounds lighter than eugene, and both thes thoughts were crossing the big man's mind. also, the money was only a hundred feet away in the trunk, and there was a lot of it. one way is better than splitting it in half, and fuck three ways. that's only four hundred g's a piece. eugene thought hard, and made a decision.
"hey morris." the smaller man turned around and caught a huge right hand across his jaw.
he looked up at the fat man who now held a gun above him. "you should have been more flexible, morris."

d's list

2005-08-19T18:28:00.000-04:00

the shortwave set-"is it any wonder"

awesome song and set
highly recommended

heady as heck

first one's free

2005-08-19T17:33:00.000-04:00

part one

2005-08-19T16:30:00.000-04:00

thick fog and dense moonlight hid the faces involved in this late night meeting of the minds.
twice before had they met, but this time there was money involved. no one acted so, but a definate tension filled the air.
"what's the cut?" a fat man in a sheer blazer and and high cut pants moved side to side as he spoke, breathing heavily.
"three ways you dumb ass. there are three of us." a snarl curled around a lucky strike. "you shouldn't think fatty."
"don't call me fat, rico."
"what do you think morris?" morris leaned against the el dorado. "this motherfucker fa?"

"duna." morris scratched his head, thinking about the real task at hand. "don't really care, about now."

they had known each other for years now. always did jobs together. family men trapped into professions not suited to their lives. now, here he was, burying his friend.
"move that shovel fat ass." lucky strike flew through the air and landed on the rather large man.
"i told you not to call me fat," and with that the rather large man swung the shovel at the owner of the lucky strike, striking him at an odd angle, and sticking it into his head.
"fat fu...oh." the man fell,
and the the cut just got bigger.

2005-08-19T01:27:00.000-04:00

we know where you live

2005-08-19T00:43:00.000-04:00

her careers include real estate agent, bengal cheerleader, and dog whisperer. go bengals. bet we make the playoffs y'all, with or without ms. sherri the dog whisperer

2005-08-18T23:35:00.001-04:00

i couldn't remember my dreams for so long.
recently, michael myers visited me.

you all know mike- from halloween

well, mikey decide to mess with me, (couldn't make this shit up),
and,
i wasn't scared.

seriously,
i gave this dude the fight of his life.
totally cutting him up.

awoke by loud noise
and grabbed the mechade

couldn't make this shit up

2005-08-18T23:35:00.000-04:00

2005-08-16T12:04:00.000-04:00

meet with legal begal,
hoping for the best

a professor just told me ther are three ways to deal with obsticles
ignore them, get upset by them,

or just love them.

give the fans what they want, teach.

i slack because i care

2005-08-15T16:55:00.000-04:00

totally got class all week
still making up work from last week.

so why do i feel the urge to blow off society and responsibility, once again.
maybe it's me being all alone this week, and i'm not used to being alone,
and my dog refuses to talk to me. (why i even feed her ass, you got me.)

or possibly because i cut my fingers off two months ago,
and, since i haven't worked in two months, been drinking cheap beer. (it's depressing.)

or possibly the fact that i'm just a slacker, and need to get my shit together.

or do i?

power trips

2005-08-13T09:47:00.000-04:00

"excuse me sir, there is no food or drink allowed."
"thank you, i'm aware."
"sir, could you need to take your drink outside?"
"it's not a drink, it's an empty cup."
"ooh. you need to put the cup in a locker then."
yeah, hopping right on that.
"sir...."
"ma'm, aren't you the same person that was eating a bearclaw while typing yesterday?"

"please put the cup under your seat."

venus fell out of the sky

2005-08-12T13:57:00.000-04:00

i can see back in time,
predicting the future with confidence and humility.

i can mend, repair, or demolish and rebuild anything, untill greatness is achieved.
never once asking for assistance,
or gratuity.

i walk alone,
years upon years,
pacing circles amongst circles i've spun over time.

i hope for the best and prepare for the worst,
a contradiction embedded into my mind.

do you feel like i do

2005-08-12T10:20:00.000-04:00

walked out into the population this morning, and did not like it.
messenger on a bike, trying hard to be kevin bacon from the movie quicksilver, almost clipped my van while weaving through traffic. not only did i scream at him, but drove behind him for two blocks screaming at him, before realizing how ridiculous i seemed.
i pulled off into a mcdonalds, only to realize that my wallet was nowhere around me. no soup for me.
my bed never seemed so appealing, all day nap.

2005-08-12T10:08:00.000-04:00

proceeded to explain quantum physics to me

freaky friday

2005-08-12T09:52:00.000-04:00

i got one good hand, there's no denying that. one good hand to strangle your ass.
watched texas chainsaw massacre, (the new one), and couldn't help but send leatherface over to see you.
see, me and him got this agreement. i laugh at his jokes and invite him in for beers some time, and he knocks off crazy, emotionally shallow girls who try their best to fuck me over.
kind of a good friend that way.
don't fuck with the gimp baby.

mind scape

2005-08-11T13:38:00.000-04:00

i come home dirty
minded
you're there , standing
smiling
nothing but a t-shirt

burning candles
pronounce soft curves

i've waited so long

carefull fingers explore far away lands
so welcoming,
so sweet
shangralah

parched, swaying
arched and coyly smiling at me
the thrill shakes my being
echoing down my legs

we collapse laughing
and you kiss my hand

tenderly playfull

what does it all mean

2005-08-10T10:11:00.000-04:00

fifteen till' one.
shit, ten minutes.

"un cerveza mas, por favor."
"yo d, you do know we are in ohio, right." always the party pooper this guy.
"you might be in ohio, but my transcending ass is in the islands." i inform him in my best jamaican accent, which i hear sounds alot like my indian and middle eastern accent.
"you drunk monkey, you're on a bar stool in appleby's." another party pooper.
"sup dude," dap, dap, "lemme buy the interstellar traveler another shot of the usual,"
c always shows to buy me a shot just as i'm leaving. "i'll take one too."
"who's car is parked in the curbside pick up spot?"
"what's it look like," i inquire.
"like your's, buddy." sweet waitress girl gives me a hug
"you forgot to dress your girl," she points to my tattoo, again. "when are you going to buy her some clothes?"
"when you stop using that cheesy come-on line."
"it would work any day of the week, and you know it. you love me."
"i'd love it if you ran your drinks." bartender interupts the ongoing flirting.

ten minutes passed ten minutes ago.

"yes, yes, let's reschedule for tommorrow."

2005-08-10T10:04:00.000-04:00

everybody needs a break
a little siesta from the everyday grind.

maybe one or two days where you turn off your phone and pretend to be non-existent.

or a week of binge drinking, oreo eating, and general debauchery.
you've gotta come back sometime.

probably when your physical therapist asks you how much you've had to drink during an afternoon session.

just a few my dear, just a few.

walk about

2005-08-04T17:04:00.000-04:00

if i could change my name, i would call myself the big ragu.
and if you ever adressed me, it would be as mr big, or mr. ragu
that being said..

i've noticed lately a wave of depression setting across the street i live on, and,
like some foul creature searching for more rotted flesh to nibble,
the dark wave of misery has stretched it's full belly across my mat, hoping to warm itself in my glow.

only,
this time,
i didn't welcome him.

as silly as it seems, i had become oddly fond of miseries visits.
fed into the agony,
building one great ball of misery we could share till,
alas,
misery would up and leave.
and i would be stuck,
not only with wounded spirit, but undue baggage unloaded and heaped onto
my shoulders.
some great weight being shifted into a more precarious position.

no,
this time grief was shooed off of my steps,
asked not to return,
and given a stern look as he turned to wave goobye.

hard to do, believe me.

we're old friends.

playing at a rib-shack near you

2005-08-02T18:20:00.000-04:00

super sounds of funk and hot guitar licks- can't offer either, but i can promise loud noise and screaming. i'll be the guy on the microphone playing the guitar with one hand.

accepting groupies now.
better sign-up before i blow-up.

salis's head just blew

2005-08-02T17:53:00.000-04:00

no sleep because of pain in hand, kids up at six. breakfast at mc-d's- $8.99

five hours of midterm exams and six pink lemonades- $7.50

gas and dinner because i'm too tired to cook- $18.00

burning down and drowning myself in the tub- priceless

shot down in flames

2005-08-02T17:47:00.000-04:00

i've found ms. right, and she's sitting directly across from me.
what's that, you couldn't help notice me staring. well, i just can't help myself. your beauty is breathtakin..

what?

you are huh? oh ms. right, that's ok. i'm not the jealous type. she can come along too.

well excuse me then, only trying to be polite.

find your happy place

2005-08-02T17:42:00.000-04:00

light can be found in the darkest of places
sharp dressed vampires leading the way
perils of soul swapping suddenly apparent
prices vary based on need

voodoo economics

ghetto wars 2

2005-08-01T17:44:00.000-04:00

"my dog can kick your dog's ass."
a little kid who should be in school is flagging me down.
"hey-hey. my dog can kick your dog's ass."
"great kid. gotta go."
"want to fight them?"
his dog is couped in a cage in a thrashed compost of a yard- emaciated.
"you should feed him first. gotta go."

ten feet later

"your dog's a punk, your dog's a punk."

i love kids.

ghetto wars

2005-08-01T17:38:00.000-04:00

nothing beats coming home from a long road trip to find that some one has tried to break into your house. on top of that, they were novices who had neither the tools, nor the know-how, to achieve success. the only thing their were able to do was cut up the wood and break a little piece of the glass, causing work to the landlord, or tennent who gets tired of waiting for a little security.

come on lines that never worked

2005-07-29T16:06:00.000-04:00

10)you ever seen a crisp 50$ bill
9)would you like to sit down, (clear a place across the nose)
8)are thos pants made of a synthetic reflective polymer, because the refraction appears to resemble my face
7)we can go back to my mom's house
6)me and the labia, we go way back
5)ever done it in a camper
4)i just got tested, and it's all good
3)i'm leaving for the peace corps in the morning
2)we could go out, have some dinner, sex, see where the night goes
1)wanna make some hard core porn

If i was the president

2005-07-29T15:56:00.000-04:00

i'd wear running suits to every world meeting
i'd change the word trombone to tromboner
i'd train monkees to drink and fight and then pin them against each other
in hand to hand combat, over simulcast for all the world to see

i'd fart in the elevator,and then blame it on the vice president
i'd send the military to kick your ass
i'd print money with my face on it

i'd bring our people home

naming the band

2005-07-29T15:51:00.000-04:00

cinnimon taost
noassatal
dirty sanchez
high on the horse
oil and water
predominatly honky
ray ray's chicken
vodoo economics
moonshiners

cast your vote