noshowjones

guess who's bizzack

2006-07-23T22:26:00.000-04:00

here i am
rock me like a hurricane baby

salis, newly married and slightly pressed, is back on the block mofos.
quick post-
married april 27th
fourth of july was a blast(busted van windows, and had gun confiscated- also threw smokebombs at unsuspecting masses while watching fireworks)
losing friends and family like crazy to weird illnesses and accidents
bit twice by brown-recluses BAD NEWS yo
still have three broken down cars in my back yard and still taking care of los ninos loco
mom still crazy and dating dudes my age

life is good and happiness is definitely attainable no matter how dark clouds appear
pray for the friends and fam of ol' salisto- we could use it and we will definitely reciprocate

at least i'm excited

2006-02-20T16:59:00.000-05:00

what can i say

i'm a trail by fire type of dude.

two bebes already, one more on the way.
1/3 of the way towards my own little baseball team.

someone recommended a vasectomy- thou dost jest too heartily.

God bless the lil ones- and the hot girls who have 'em

bonanza

2006-01-20T10:14:00.000-05:00

drinking heineken 22's at ten a.m.
smoked number 10 at 12 p.m.
finished first bottle of jack at 3 p.m.
met my future ex at 4 p.m.
invaded the blue-smith estate at 6 p.m.
licked a chubby bartender's nipple at 8 p.m.
passed out on my bathroom floor at 10 p.m.

my birthday's are always so mundane.

it's hard to be right all the time

2006-01-20T10:02:00.000-05:00

i told you they big brother was watching- watching your every little step.
every breath you take, every move you make, that sort of malarky.
the gubament has decided, not only do they want to hear every conversation without any sort of probable cause,
but,
they would also like to know what america is googling.

i figured i'd save them a trip.
have fun guys,
this is what our constitution is all about.

my google's
secretary sex
amateur milf first lesbian experience
redwoods
energy transference
mail order brides (drunknight)
shmegma (alsoadrunknight-funpicsforthefamily)
honorroll sluts
tax form ez-90
NOSHOWJONES

please don't assign me to a behavior modification facility, somewhere off the map. i promise i'll be good.

bored in the a.m.

2006-01-10T11:06:00.000-05:00

was that a monday?

2006-01-10T10:56:00.000-05:00

got tickets for ohio states girl's basketball game. club seats baby!
showed up at half-time ripped con me familia.
spent forty bucks on hot dogs and beer, then couldn't find my vehicle amongst the massive herd leaving the arena.
thank goodness for car alarms.

see if you can find these five items, hidden in the cab of my van.
1) zig-zags, orange
2)mini-cigars, strawberry
3)ice-cold wake up beer
4)left over taco-bell, also for the morning time
5)removed captains chair, no clue why

fun for the whole fam

who dey, who dey, who cares

2006-01-10T10:52:00.000-05:00

my quaterback has been crippled.
my team has been vanquished.
the playoffs are over for us.

i can't feel my toes.
jelly doesn't possess that same addictive sweetness.

except for my blackberry preserves.
nothing can take that from me.

amore

2006-01-05T10:03:00.000-05:00

puppies for sale.
str8 out the hood,
and into your heart.

ghetto landscaping and beat up ford van sold separately.

hillbilly holidays

2006-01-05T09:50:00.000-05:00

on antibiotics for me dedito. coudn't drink on new years- first time since i was like, ten and shit. found other ways to entertain myself, via pistols and smokey treats....

and maybe a shot of moonshine.

best wishes for 2006.

news from the fam

2006-01-05T09:39:00.000-05:00

it's about 10 a.m., cold and rainy. miserable ohio weather- only good for creating messy roads and head colds.

walking towards class, i received an alarming phone call. apparently, my cousin is behind on child support by about 400 hundo. he was escorted into the open doors of a cruiser this morning, while his other two boys watched.

they're four and six

justice system is kind of whack.

sad but true

2005-12-14T21:58:00.000-05:00

foxy is dumb

holiday wish list

2005-12-14T10:47:00.000-05:00

1digital camera
1bottle of after shock
1bottle of bourbon
1blonde from the north
1brunnette from the south
1new mattress(memory foam)
some of that good

simple man with simple needs

oh, christmas tree

2005-12-14T10:38:00.000-05:00

fattening up for the winter

2005-12-14T10:24:00.000-05:00

simple times are upon me.
no collegiate activities planned for at least two weeks, and i'm drifting into a state of holiday bliss doubtfully to be lifted.

finally time to recuperate.

i have waited so long for a day filled with beer, laughter, and gorging myself, that at some moments in the day i find myself fantasizing.
so much t.v., that i get my fill for the rest of the year.

yep, the good ol' days.

and, i wish the same on whoever reads this;
happy holidays to all y'all cool kittens and cats.
peace, love, and all that jazz,

and get me something nice.

terms of endearment

2005-12-13T13:02:00.000-05:00

her- what is it? you sounded flustered on the phone.
him- no i didn't. i told you we should be friends, and you hung up. that
was twenty minutes ago.
her-you told me that you liked me.
him- i do. i think you're totally cool, and i like hanging out.
her- you're a f*ing prick. why did you toy with me.
him- we just met a week ago. we haven't even slept toghether. in fact, the
last time we hung out, you yelled drunken obscenities at me.
her- no i didn't!
him- you said you hated me, repeatedly.

her- i think i love you.
him- we really should stay friends. i'm not in a loving place right now.
her- whatever! you're a f*ing prick!
him- i apologize. we really can hang out.
her- can we be fuck buddies then?

him- huh?

GAME DAY - NASTY 'NATI

2005-12-11T12:24:00.000-05:00

who dey

on the road again

2005-12-11T11:33:00.000-05:00

the morning started as most sunday's did. little smoke off the bat, dvd from the collection. the only thing missing was breakfast from mc donald's, and a paper. (i still enjoy the funnies.)

oh yeah- my gas gauge is broke and i've been driving off of calculations from my trip counter.

i put the lord-of-the-rings on pause, and went out into the snow in search of sustenance.
two sausage egg and cheese biscuits later, my trusty steed starts to jump, then sputter. NO! steering locks up, and i slide into a open spot by the curb.

bad calculations!

now i walked against the bitter wind that bit my face.
three blocks to the next gas-station.

the first two had been unfruitful, due to the fact that neither sold gas cans, or would let me put gas into a two liter bottle. the fat kid behind glass explained to me it was illegal, and he could lose his lucrative career if he allowed me to do so.

i explained to him that it was really f*ing cold, and if he was a human being he would help me.

he went back to reading in his heated glass house, and i headed back out into the cold.
at first i contemplated revenge- enego montoya style- you killed my father, prepare to die! but, as i tumbled ideas around in my melon, serenity wrapped her big ol' arms around me.

wwjd?

yeah, i said it. what was the righteous thing to do? is this what he meant by love thy neighbor- despite their actions towards you? i know it sounds cheezy, but i'm working on my karma.
suddenly i grew warmer, and looked towards my next destination.

the two aaa, auto emergency trucks, said they couldn't help me if i wasn't a member. i said thanks, and walked inside.
the clerk at the counter informed me it was necessary to purchase a gas can, as opposed to using the one sitting by her feet. i said thanks, filled the can, and journeyed back across freezing plains, trudging towards my breakfast and warmth.

just like lord of the rings and shit.

a few of my favorite things

2005-12-08T21:00:00.000-05:00

it's f*ing 18 below in my great state. eight inches of snow where i'm sitting, and the roads are slick as a politician- perfect weather for playoffs and powerslides.
4wd+beer+ice=big fun
bengals+superbowl=major ejaculation

Christmas is the season for giving

2005-12-08T20:50:00.000-05:00

tuesday's gone

2005-12-06T12:37:00.000-05:00

overstretched by
every stretch of the imagination.

green light means go,
but someone stalls at the light.

closure has wrapped around me,
smothering but comfortable,
and atop my steed,
i await the final battle.

no longer scared, only scarred.
nervousness has relenquinshed itself unto the urge to complete my quest-
i fear nothing,
and go towards every enemy smiling,
willing to win at any cost to myself.

we will fight until the fight is over-
until the job is done.
loss of soldiers or friends matters not.

victory will be achieved,
in life or in death.

transcend.

little gelflings, everywhere

2005-11-27T19:15:00.000-05:00

smoke scented clothes and unpolished etiquette.

as of late,
i walk into any given place, any given situation,
reeking of essence.
someone in the lawyers office asked me if i had gone to a concert the night before?

damn straight baby- i had two sopranos hitting the high note all night long. satisfying and melodic.

yes, i know i need to do my shirt laundry.
oh, and stop trying to steal my essence.

when in rome

2005-11-27T18:47:00.000-05:00

we sat motionless,
as malibus most wanted flailed his arms about and threatened the three of us riding in the suv.

only moments before, it had been thanksgiving, and we three fellas were riding around our usual stomping grounds, listening to music and suffering from chest congestion.
we drove by a happy couple walking into a thanksgiving dinner, and the driver slowed down from twenty miles an hour, to three mph's.
john wayne stared us down with authority.
the driver slowed down, and asked the little guy if he was ok.

homeboy flipped,
in front of his girl,
and offered to whoop whoever wanted to get out of the car.
i reached for the door handle, and a little voice reminded me that it was thanksgiving.
we all chuckled a bit, and pulled off on our merry way.

so much anger on the holiday's.

just some good ol' boys, never meanin no harm

2005-11-21T10:31:00.000-05:00

welcome back folks.

although we haven't heard the adventures of salis, a.k.a.desalio, a.k.a. joshua petersmith, in quite a long time, i assure you, they continue. and now,
without further procrastination,
a glimpse.

we join our lovable hero on a cold, rainy, november night.
boredom has beset him, and surgery looms over his head as either impending doom, or much needed salvation. hopefully the latter- he really needs the latter. his mood has changed like the weather; constantly and drastically. anymore setbacks or boughts with angst might seriously cause bodily harm to someone. the thought of being out of work for three more months, not to mention weeks and weeks of therapy trying to regain the hand function he'd only now achieved.

and,
during the last appeal process, (there have been several), the good people at workman's-comp decided in the favor of the injured worker, opposed the the lying-son-of a gun who doesn't want to come out of pocket, and allowed salis to have his much needed hand surgery.
but wait, it get's better.
the bwc awarded wages, no, ability.
ability to pay past bills, ability to work, ability to regain normalcy.
just a regular guy minus some digits.

hazah!
hold up dog- old boy wants to appeal again, procrastinating payment of dinero.
also,
he decided to walk by and mutter f- you to salis while the lawyers discussed whatever it is lawyers discuss,
prompting salis to follow him out of the state building, and challenge him to a duel- one handed style.

dickhead declined the offer.
people suck- so does bureaucracy.

anything that don't kill ya only makes you stronger- believe that.

got yo ass

2005-10-17T10:40:00.000-04:00

superbowl bound

2005-10-17T10:31:00.000-04:00

to those who don't know- the cincinnati bengals f'ing rock.
all year i've listened to people credit their wins on the play of the other teams, luck, or the theory that the nfl is rigged to favor a small market team from ohio.
all i can say is......

WHO DEY, WHO DEY, WHO DEY THINK IS GONNA BEAT THOSE BENGAL.
WHERE WE PLAYING, IN THE JUNGLE, BABY.
NOBODY!

we lead the league in take-aways. carson palmer is setting records. our recievers are the best in the league.
with that being said, go nasty nati!
make your long-lost son proud.