bonanza

drinking heineken 22's at ten a.m.
smoked number 10 at 12 p.m.
finished first bottle of jack at 3 p.m.
met my future ex at 4 p.m.
invaded the blue-smith estate at 6 p.m.
licked a chubby bartender's nipple at 8 p.m.
passed out on my bathroom floor at 10 p.m.

my birthday's are always so mundane.

it's hard to be right all the time

i told you they big brother was watching- watching your every little step.
every breath you take, every move you make, that sort of malarky.
the gubament has decided, not only do they want to hear every conversation without any sort of probable cause,
but,
they would also like to know what america is googling.

i figured i'd save them a trip.
have fun guys,
this is what our constitution is all about.

my google's
secretary sex
amateur milf first lesbian experience
redwoods
energy transference
mail order brides (drunknight)
shmegma (alsoadrunknight-funpicsforthefamily)
honorroll sluts
tax form ez-90
NOSHOWJONES

please don't assign me to a behavior modification facility, somewhere off the map. i promise i'll be good.

bored in the a.m.

was that a monday?

got tickets for ohio states girl's basketball game. club seats baby!
showed up at half-time ripped con me familia.
spent forty bucks on hot dogs and beer, then couldn't find my vehicle amongst the massive herd leaving the arena.
thank goodness for car alarms.


see if you can find these five items, hidden in the cab of my van.
1) zig-zags, orange
2)mini-cigars, strawberry
3)ice-cold wake up beer
4)left over taco-bell, also for the morning time
5)removed captains chair, no clue why

fun for the whole fam

who dey, who dey, who cares

my quaterback has been crippled.
my team has been vanquished.
the playoffs are over for us.

i can't feel my toes.
jelly doesn't possess that same addictive sweetness.

except for my blackberry preserves.
nothing can take that from me.

amore

puppies for sale.
str8 out the hood,
and into your heart.

ghetto landscaping and beat up ford van sold separately.

hillbilly holidays

on antibiotics for me dedito. coudn't drink on new years- first time since i was like, ten and shit. found other ways to entertain myself, via pistols and smokey treats....

and maybe a shot of moonshine.

best wishes for 2006.

news from the fam

it's about 10 a.m., cold and rainy. miserable ohio weather- only good for creating messy roads and head colds.

walking towards class, i received an alarming phone call. apparently, my cousin is behind on child support by about 400 hundo. he was escorted into the open doors of a cruiser this morning, while his other two boys watched.

they're four and six

justice system is kind of whack.